The new ones… past and present
Some are from the old list. But it has been a few new people that have crossed my way during this last year. This is some from the past and more from the present, but just a presentation.
One of them is my self. I wrote this story, I started writing it when I came back from a trip that was suppose to end diffrently. See I had made up my mind. I would go to a place I had always wanted to go, and would not come back. It was all a plan. I would go there, and I would die there. Leaving my son in the care of those who love me the most. It was all so dramatic, and all so planned. I had lost my job in november and I got my last paycheck the 23 of december that year. The trip was suppose to take place from the 24 of december and I had not decided whether I was going to die on my birthday (december 28 th) or the day I was going to go home (december 30 th). It all depended on how much I liked Belfast (the city I was going to). However, I landed safely on december 30 th. I went home, meet my family and meet my son. I was safe and from that day, it has been so much more light in the life. Like I made a choice I am really proud of. If you want to read the story, contact the email under contacs.
I will tell you it is quite a story to understand that you were saved by nothing more than unknown peoples caring hearts.
Lets move on though. There are other people, and I will only mention some of them here (they will of course have their own posts here too.
First off is a ghost from the past in a way;
KAeng1: She was the one that listen to me, the one who made me understand that I mattered. I have some regrets about this relationship. See, I lied to her, and I did it because I was not ready to face any diagnosis. So all those hours she spent on me, well some were just me not knowing what to do, or not willing to admit the truths. She never doubted me as a mother though, even defended me in times I could not.
Then we have the starts of something new.
UPeng2, LTeng3, VAeng4 and LNeng5, these four I work with, and they have all learned stuff about me they either needed to know or got to know. One is a boss, one is the one I work with on a dayly basis and two of them are people at my workplace. Three of them have a common thing, they are not swedish. It makes it easier to talk to them since they are not bound by the same swedish limits we otherwise have. That last peice of a pie, they take it. That thing where we don’t talk about feelings, they do it. One of them is swedish, and also somebody that I hope saw something in me. I came in for my jobinterview, I had not been working for mounths. I was pretty torned and not committed to anything. I still got the job. Then, 3 weeks into it I needed to go down in hours because it was to much, I still got to keep the job. Then the summer came and I was welcomed back, I needed to go down even more in hours and it was not a problem. Then I needed one day off, and I still could keep the job. It is crazy when I see it all infront of me, but there it is. People, new people came in…. and suddenly I was cared for.
