UPeng2
UPeng2
I had been out off work for sometime, almost six months. I had went to Belfast and come home from Belfast. I had been going to my therapy on and off. It became clear that being home made me even sicker than I was. I had no routines, and in the weeks I did not have my son, I could just remain in bed, cancel every plan and just don’t go up. It could be a week until I showered and a week before I went shopping for food. At home I was busy though, burning my money online. I bought so much stuff, things I did not need, things I needed but could afford and things I needed but never used anyway. My mom had to help me out at one point. I had ran out of money after buying to many things.
But by April I started looking for jobs again. I went on a couple of interviews but I feel out of touch and so lost. In a school they look for somebody with new ideas, new energy, I had none. However there was one school that needed me as much as I needed them. A teacher was very pregnant, she was going on leave in the middle of may. It was only a short substitute job until the summer break. About 8 weeks of work. That would give me somewhat of a way into working again and help me financially so I could find something else after the summer. So I started working there, on 75%. This was because I had a long commute. The first thing that happened was that after three days I was called into UPeng2:s office. She said that the teacher I had in my class one day a week had talked to her and that she found my style bad, and that the children were running loose. I said that I really needed more than three days to make sure they were comfortable with me and then the other way around. Of course that was correct. But the next day I had not slept. I was full of doubts, felt like I had lied. So I went into her again and told her the long and ugly truth about why I had been on sick leave, and that I might have taken to much on. I had not signed any papers yet, so I could have been asked to give up my key and then leave. But I was not. Instead she changed my hours from 75% to 60%. She asked another teacher at the school to cover another subject (I previously had not had maths, no it was also science) now this caused me some concern, the teacher that had to cover me, would surely not be happy at all. Turned out that it became two teachers that had to do that. Still no one was mad och showed any anger towards that.
Then the summer came and I asked if I could come back after the summer. And I could. She had already a teacher starting in my class but, she still needed somebody to teach swedish to them, and I already had them. So she explained that after the summer we would be two mentors in that class. One english speaking and then me. We wrote a new contract, starting in august. Of course it was not that easy. During the summer I was finally offered a treatment, but that was a treatment requiring both weekly assignments, therapy in group and therapy privately. Some once again I had to try and figure it out. Was so many times I just thought about not even try. Then she came with the solution. 50% of work and one day off per week. That meant that the day I was off was the day I went to treatment. This worked out good for everyone, so for now that is how it is. I like it. Sometimes I feel as an outsider at work. I am not really a social being. I have a hard time making people friends. I also use to have a hard time working for somebody, I don’t anymore. I have never been questioned about my actions at work, not even when I am on very heavy medication. I still do it and it seems I do it with trust.
