A new begining
This blog has been of for a long time. I only have one explanation, writer’ s cramp. It has been really bad, but now I will try to make for time lost. I have also seen that most of you readers come from outside of Sweden, so from now on all the posts will be in english.
This blog is based on a list I made. For and about the people that changed my life. Most of them have no idea, some do but far from everyone. It has focused on my past, but now it will not. Instead it will focus on the people that has recently entrered my life. People that has changed my life now and still do. I had a really bad summer, but I got so much love and care, I had a real problem with understanding how people that had known me for such a short time could care so much. How much they were prepared to sacrifice for me to be al right. It was a very odd feeling that I still struggle with.
This blog is not only about the list, it is also about me. Just somebody, no one special that is trying to survive with something called borderline. Sometimes it makes youcrazy, sometimes not! Often it hurts, sometimes not. I have learned to treat my demons, have learned that they help me to write, help me to express my self in words instead of bad actions. However just like you I am human, that means that I don’ t always do what is right, in fact I’ am aware that my actions are often planned, I know when I do right or wrong, I just don’t care. I must have the change to fall apart, that is why this sometimes this destroy me.
I ’ am also a mother, the most selfish thing I ever did, but also it saved my life. I know it is not my childs job to save me, I know. And when my child is with me, nothing else matter, nothing. I might feel like dieing, yeet I will not let the child I brought into this world find me like that. My child have shown me that when I’ am bad I can hide it for everybody, exept for him. He feel it and he show it. Then I must be unselfish and let him live with stabile people, hate it… but it is the right thing.
Finally this is also political, because I feel the world has gone so wrong and I am so sad for those that have to be the victim of it. It goes for everybody, see the world is a place where every person is worth as much as the next one. If You beleive I am wrong I would adwise you to read a bit of history.
Thank you for reading all this intro. There is so much to come.
